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"Ruin the button"
From the diary of a parenting coach
The phone rings...
- "Listen, you have to come here! I can’t handle this little lady who’s ruling the house with terror!"
- "Wait, have a drink... breathe... tell me from the beginning..."
"It can’t be that every morning, but every single morning, I waste so much time on fights, nerves, and arguments."
- "In our house, it’s cold in the morning, and the little lady decides to walk around barefoot. I put socks on her, and she takes them off. I put them on again, and she takes them off again. I put slippers on her, and she runs away, takes off the socks, takes off her pants, and runs half-naked on the couch. I can’t take it anymore! It was never like this with the older one! Come here and see for yourself!!!"
- "Dear, until we schedule the next steps and to give you a bit of breathing room, I’ll give you a piece of advice... it’s worth its weight in gold, and once you understand it, you’ll be able to use it again in similar situations...
Are you sitting down????
- "Break the button!"
- "What? I think I didn’t hear you..."
- "You heard me perfectly – break the button."
- "Your sweet little one is only two and a half years old and already knows exactly which button to press to get a reaction from you. She’s doing it brilliantly, and she’ll keep doing it as long as the button works!
What do you really want from her? I understand you’re worried she’ll get cold, which is why you’re trying to put socks on her. You’re a wonderful mom. In the morning, when you wake up, warm up the house a bit so it’s comfortable. Ignore the socks. Focus on what’s important. Get yourself ready for work, get dressed, and be prepared. Take care of breakfast and sandwiches, help the older daughter get ready. Once both of you are ready, you’ll have time to take care of the little lady. If she tries to press the button again, ignore it, don’t react, don’t chase after her because it seems like it’s turning into a game (which can be great at other times, just not in the morning when you’re in a rush). She’ll try again and again, but eventually, she’ll stop because that button is broken."
The next morning, a phone call...
- "I had to call!!!!!! I can’t believe it!! How dark my mornings used to be!!! I did what you suggested, warmed up the house, and got on with my tasks. Other than saying good morning to her, I didn’t comment at all... Within a few minutes, she came up to me... with socks in hand and slippers... I thought I was hallucinating!!! I pinched myself! She said, 'Mom, socks, shoes, the floor is cold...'
You’re amazing!!!!!! I still can’t believe this is real! Thank you, thank you!"
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