And now that we know what it's called...

And now that we know it’s called ADHD, and we already understand that it disrupts (a disorder, right?) Noam’s ability to concentrate. It causes him to disconnect during lessons and creates a need for stimuli in order to understand what the teacher is saying. These stimuli manifest in various ways, such as intense doodling in his notebook or on the desk, sharpening pencils to death, hysterical chatter, and more… Now it’s time to try to solve the problem or at least help Noam "work around" it.

The doctor’s recommendations were:

- Medication—yes, Ritalin!! It balances the need for stimuli and helps Noam stay focused and attentive.

- Emotional therapy of any kind… to deal with the frustrations that come with the whole package.

- Sitting close to the teacher—of course!!

- And lots of patience on our part.

So, we started with the medication: RETALIN LA 20 mg once a day. A slow-release pill that works for about 8 hours.

For the first two weeks, we were instructed to give a low dose (only 3/4 of a pill) to allow the body to adjust.

We opened the capsule and sprinkled the contents onto a spoonful of whipped cream or pudding and… into the mouth it went, followed by a glass of water and, of course, a good breakfast.

At the same time, I asked his amazing teacher at the time, Ayelet, to report any changes in mood, complaints, behavior, etc.

On the first day, we received a-m-a-z-i-n-g reports from all the teachers that he was like a completely different child that day. Active, participating, listening… (my child?? J). Needless to say, Noam and we felt like we had succeeded!!

I must mention that we involved Noam in the entire process, of course in simple language that he could understand.

And then the side effects began…

Noam fell asleep during lessons… Noam complained of headaches… Noam didn’t eat his mid-morning snack…

And one morning, Noam simply cried and said: "Mom, I know why my head hurts and why I fall asleep in class—it’s because of the pill you give me in the morning. I don’t want to take it anymore!!!…"

We agreed that he would take the pill, and in the meantime, I would urgently contact the doctor and ask what to do. We also agreed that we would follow whatever the doctor said.

I contacted Dr. Adar via email, wrote everything to him, and I must say that I received a response fairly quickly. The doctor explained that sometimes a low dose causes these side effects and suggested increasing the dose to 20 mg to see if there was a change, and to update him later.

That’s what we did, and indeed, by the next day, the headaches and fatigue disappeared… The lack of appetite during school hours persists to this day…

The improvement in Noam since he started taking Ritalin has been tremendous! He is calm, composed, happy to go to school, able to listen in class, and no longer loses the supplies in his pencil case. The teacher reports a huge improvement.

He actively participates in some lessons, complains less about various things, and needless to say, his grades are excellent. He no longer gets reprimanded in class, which has restored his confidence among his classmates.

In short… relief…

At the same time, we started emotional therapy through art—Noam knew he was going to an art class and was very happy. He is a very creative child, so we tried this approach. He attended the "class" until the end of the school year. He enjoyed it very much, but I have no way of knowing if and how much it truly impacted his emotional state.

Regarding seating in class—Noam moved to sit close to the teacher, which allowed her to pay more attention to him. She could notice when he "disconnected" and bring him back to focus with a touch on the shoulder… and other small interventions.

Socially, Noam meets with friends in the afternoons, but usually with a fixed group of friends.

In class and during recess, Noam avoids joining groups. He plays with one friend and no more—unless he is invited to join. He never initiates… We are working on this…

At home, the change had to come from us—we realized that what happens at home is entirely "our fault"… The more we learned to understand Noam and his needs, to be calmer, to have conversations with him in a relaxed manner, not to get angry about things beyond his control, and when asking him to do something, to make sure it’s one thing at a time and ensure he notices that we asked… Yelling at him from afar doesn’t help because he simply doesn’t register what we said and therefore doesn’t do it…

The "mess" in his room is a topic in itself—after all, disorganization is one of the main symptoms in children with ADHD… On the other hand, when the room is tidy, Noam is calmer, does his homework more easily, and completes tasks more quickly… Interesting, isn’t it?

As we were "thrown into the deep end" and began to understand ADHD, we learned where we went wrong! Where, for years, we made mistakes in our reactions, in our anger, in our punishments—we were wrong, wrong, wrong. Noam is not to blame!! He has a real problem! He cannot hear requests when he is focused on something else (computer, TV, game, conversation…). He simply cannot!! It’s not that he doesn’t want to; he just can’t! I can’t even begin to describe the guilt we felt during that time!!

One of the challenges was the morning routine… Yes, I assume that in every household, the morning routine is not simple, and for years we thought we were just a "normal" family struggling with mornings.

Then I got an idea from the "Lul" website—a morning routine chart. I sat at the computer and created a personalized chart for each child with illustrations for each activity and an empty box to mark a check when the activity was completed.

Our activities were: brushing teeth, getting dressed, eating breakfast, packing the bag, and finally, whoever marked a check for all activities got a sweet treat to take with them… We immediately canceled morning TV. On school/ kindergarten mornings—no TV!! I must say it worked amazingly!!! Highly recommended. Each child had a chart (which I laminated) and a dry-erase marker to mark what they had completed. I attached a magnet to the back of the chart and hung them on the front door of the house. What a change!! What a calm morning!!! The kids simply got themselves ready and were so happy to get a sweet treat before leaving the house, which served as a reward for good and independent behavior. So, on most mornings, this is how it looked, and it’s amazing how starting the day with a smile and something sweet often made their day at kindergarten and school just as good!

And, of course, my day started with a smile!! And that’s worth a lot!! Everyone wins!!

IT’S A WIN-WIN SITUATION!!

Ilana