Two years in kindergarten… diagnosis… and a dialogue-oriented teacher

It was time for Matan to move up to kindergarten.

Not at all ready for what was to come...

A new kindergarten, a staff that didn’t know him or how to help him. New children who didn’t understand him.

If there’s a saying I connect with, it’s "There’s no such thing as a bad child, only a child who feels bad."

(This applies to adults too, by the way...)

A child who feels insecure in a new place, with all the challenges he brings with him (retrieval, language, attention, hyperactivity, etc.), also adds insecurity, comments, and a sense of failure.

At the first meeting (an introductory one) with the teacher, I asked to schedule a meeting. I wanted to make things easier for Matan as he entered kindergarten. If there was an adult who understood him, it would be much easier...

The teacher refused to meet. "Let me get to know him, and then we’ll talk."

It didn’t take two weeks before she asked to meet with me because "we have serious behavior problems."

And if she had met with me when I asked, we wouldn’t have reached a conversation about serious behavior problems!!!?!

So, we met. Without anger, resentment, or preconceived notions.

I told her who Matan is. I told her everything... the sweet and the sting.

During the conversation, I made sure she knew that I had no intention of advancing Matan to first grade the following school year. He’s young (born at the end of October) and, in every way, not ready for the challenges of first grade. Therefore, I asked her to treat him accordingly and work with him to prepare him for kindergarten next year.

I asked her to initiate a personal conversation with him. To hug him and explain that she’s there for him. That whenever a difficulty arises, he should turn to her, and she’ll help him solve it.

I asked to be present at their first personal meeting to give him confidence and assure him that it’s okay and desirable to turn to the teacher. She’s here for you and will help you...

The conversation took place, and Matan began coming to kindergarten with a smile and joy. There were difficulties... many...

But the coping is different when you have someone to turn to.

At the same time, I scheduled an appointment with the child development neurologist (where he was being treated).

He was unequivocally diagnosed with ADHD and was recommended treatment with RETALIN LA pills. However, since Matan had just turned 5, we needed special approval from the Ministry of Health.

The approval was granted, and we began treatment.

Luckily, like Noam, Matan didn’t suffer from any significant side effects. A slight decrease in appetite, and that was it.

The change was immediate. Matan was calmer.

He began actively participating in kindergarten activities and completing tasks more easily. Socially, he also began to flourish.

During the year, I submitted a request for Matan to receive the support of an integration teacher in kindergarten the following year.

This is a teacher who takes him out once or twice a week during school hours for individual work, sometimes alone and sometimes with one or two friends.

To receive approval, a placement committee is required. Together with the teacher, I submitted the relevant forms to the education department at the municipality and waited for our turn at the placement committee. Meanwhile, we continued regular treatment with a speech therapist and occupational therapist.

Additionally, I enrolled him in a therapeutic sports class to strengthen his shoulder girdle but mainly to provide emotional support.

At the placement committee, many dignitaries were present:

Representatives from the special needs department, the educational psychology service, the head of the kindergarten department at the municipality, Matan’s teacher, and me.

I arrived with a binder containing all of Matan’s documents and evaluations (I must say they were impressed ;)).

They asked me to talk about Matan... so I told them... everything!

Yes... the sweet and the sting...

Then they asked the teacher to share her thoughts.

And then the teacher surprised me. She started talking about me. About how she wished all mothers were so caring, involved, and cooperative with the staff... About how my efforts to take him to all the para-medical treatments and involve the educational staff had greatly contributed to Matan’s improvement and progress, which was evident in his development in kindergarten.

Wow. I was speechless!

I didn’t expect that.

Then the committee asked me why Matan needed an integration teacher if he was already receiving all the para-medical treatments outside of kindergarten.

I explained that when Matan works with a speech therapist or occupational therapist, the work is individual. He doesn’t have social interaction. In kindergarten, with an integration teacher, she would help him cope with social situations within the kindergarten, in combination with other children. That’s the missing piece of the puzzle...

I don’t remember when, but a few months after the committee, we received approval...

Then we underwent a psychological evaluation at the educational psychology service to confirm that Matan was indeed not ready to move up to first grade...

And in the following year’s kindergarten, again... a new staff, new children, but Matan was almost 6 by then. A more mature child. Treated...

Progressing.

I asked the head of the early childhood division (due to our previous acquaintance) to ask the teacher to speak with me before the school year began. I didn’t want to create regression... The teacher contacted me by phone. In a short conversation, I gave her a few pointers for starting work with Matan, and we agreed to meet soon.

The integration teacher, Efrat, was amazing. The educational staff, who already knew me and Matan, cooperated, and Matan entered first grade as prepared as any other child in the class.

The work is hard... When you read what I’ve written, it feels like I put my life on hold to run to the speech therapist, occupational therapist, committees, and more...

But no... it’s part of life’s routine.

The schedule is packed.

By this stage, Noam had already settled into a school routine... Even with Noam, at the beginning of each year, I meet with the homeroom teacher and the subject teachers. I talk, explain, smile... and move forward.

This is my life.

Ilana