Motivation isn't bought at the grocery store

The teenager walks around with a hoodie on his head, avoiding eye contact.

He carries a bag full of feelings of failure and inadequacy.

We know he has the ability, but the motivation is missing...

There’s no "motivation pill" in medicine, nor a "motivation vitamin" you can buy over the counter.

So, what’s the way to create motivation?!

******************************************

He’s growing up, my child.

The one who, just a few years ago, couldn’t stop smiling at the camera...

The one who made us parents and taught us what truly matters. What unconditional love is. And yes, the one who taught us what ADHD is...

As he grew and discovered his differences and challenges, the motivation gradually disappeared...

Or maybe it was never there to begin with...

Throughout the journey, I held onto the saying that "motivation isn’t bought in a store" and "there’s no motivation pill," and with all the "no," we tried to figure out what *does* work. What do we need to plant so that motivation can grow?

The transition to middle school was challenging for us. The difficulties stood out, and with them, the motivation disappeared even more. The withdrawal came in the form of building a solid, inaccessible wall. The hoodie that accompanied him winter and summer, 24/7, served as his protective shield.

We knew there was ability beyond all the challenges. There’s intelligence. So, we chose one goal. One that wasn’t simple for him and was particularly challenging. We chose to let go of everything else and focus on that goal. The goal was to create success so that he could taste the true flavor of success.

We fully committed. A weekly course throughout the year. Close personal contact with the professional teacher, completing assignments, submitting work, studying for exams.

Slowly and gradually, we saw a change. In his attitude toward the subject, in his cooperation, and yes, even in his grades. A commendation for participating in class, a bonus for submitting work on time, a passing grade on a test... And with every small success came a lot of praise for the effort, plenty of reinforcement for his ability. "This is yours! We know you can do it, and here you are proving it again and again."

And then came the breakthrough: the second-semester exam.

On the day of the exam, we sent him encouraging, calming, and supportive messages. Reminding him to breathe, take his time, and review everything. "Because you know the material perfectly."

I knew. I knew the moment he walked through the door that something was different. That he had tasted the sweet flavor of success. That he felt the excited heartbeat when success is written in ink on an exam paper.

He got a 94 on the exam in the subject he had defined as the hardest! He soared high, riding an incredible high.

And I was rewarded with a huge, emotional hug!

And his amazing dad got an excited phone call in the middle of a busy workday!

With success came the appetite.

And along the way, the hoodie disappeared.

Our diamond is starting to break through the walls.

Sprouting buds of self-confidence that penetrate the bricks of the wall.

We understood his path. We understood what he needs from us to get there. Small, precise goals.

Each time, one small goal. A precise goal that creates a sense of success. And immense satisfaction.