Emotional therapy and more…

If there’s one thing I’ve learned throughout this process and in my interactions with the education system, it’s the importance of being present! Truly being there and focusing solely on my child.

Meetings with the teachers—not just the homeroom teacher, but also the subject teachers. If necessary, a meeting with the school counselor.

Not being afraid, and certainly not ashamed, to ask the obvious question: What are you doing for my son????

My son has special needs—he needs to sit close to the teacher, he sometimes needs scheduled breaks, he sometimes needs a touch on the shoulder to bring him back to focus. And yes, he sometimes needs a kind word.

Because before the diagnosis, his self-confidence was crushed!! He was reprimanded at every moment for everything he did. Now is the time to ask to restore his dignity and self-confidence and to raise his self-worth in his own eyes!!

It’s no coincidence that professionals recommend emotional therapy for children with ADD and ADHD. So, knowing that Noam loves creativity and art, I scheduled a meeting with an art therapist for him.

Noam found it interesting and was very enthusiastic about the sessions. Very quickly, the art aspect disappeared… and they mostly played games—various board games, imaginative games. From what I understand, the therapist tried to reach him through play. To sum it up, Noam visited her for about six months, once a week. I don’t know what it did or if it helped at all. But what’s certain is that Noam really enjoyed spending time with her.

Oh well…

Summer vacation arrived, and Noam chose to take a break (because during summer vacation, no child goes to extracurricular activities…). For us, it was a good opportunity to reassess whether we even wanted to continue with it. And with summer vacation came the dilemma of whether to give him Ritalin during the break or not…

Since my children don’t attend summer camps and still need to be kept busy every day, we purchased a membership to the municipal pool and spent 3-4 days a week there.

There’s no doubt it’s a great place to burn off energy…

But there were days when it was unavoidable to give him the pill. There were days when Noam simply lost control!! He drove everyone in the house and around him crazy. He got angry and upset over every little thing, and the house was on edge. On the days we chose to give him the pill… hmm, the day went by pleasantly, smoothly, and was highly productive. We all benefited. And the one who benefited the most was Noam himself, who managed to enjoy every activity we chose, even if it was just staying at home.

Summer vacation ended, and we started second grade… And again… a new teacher, new subject teachers… I rolled up my sleeves and got to work. I started by scheduling a meeting with the homeroom teacher. Yes, yes, right at the beginning of the year. When I arrived at the meeting, I told her about my wonderful and successful child, about this child who had a very difficult start to the year until we discovered his uniqueness and adapted ourselves to him. And this amazing child flourished and succeeded. By the end of first grade, he proudly presented an excellent end-of-year report card. I asked her, the homeroom teacher, to seat Noam close to her. And yes, to give him the attention he needs… And I made a big request to update me on any changes or extreme situations (warm words and compliments are also welcome!!). To my delight, I was met with a listening ear.

Just to clarify, I don’t feel like a "nuisance," and to this day, no one at the school has made me feel that way.

I’m here for my son and for him alone!!! That’s all I see in front of me!!!

Then I met with the math teacher—it was important to me because she teaches him about 8 hours a week, which is a lot. I saw in her eyes that she didn’t understand the purpose of the meeting, but I was glad she met with me anyway. I started the conversation by telling her that I know Noam excels in math and that we have no difficulties in that area. Still, it’s important to me that she knows who Noam is and where his weaknesses lie. And how she can help him so he doesn’t get lost among the 31 students in his class. And, of course, I again asked her to update me on anything unusual… (and again—warm words and compliments are welcome!!)

I have no guilt, and I feel great after every such meeting. I’ll get my feedback later and know I did the right thing!

About two months into the school year, I received a message from the teacher that Noam’s behavior in class had deteriorated… lack of focus, excessive chatter, and other traits that took us back to square one… So, we scheduled another meeting with the neurologist and dealt again with the paperwork, where the teacher gave her opinion… The neurologist determined that the dosage should be increased to 30 mg.

That’s what we did, and indeed, the teacher reported that the situation improved dramatically. At the same time, I scheduled another meeting with her… I told her that I think she must make an effort to build a better relationship with Noam. He needs to trust her and share more with her. So that even in difficult situations where Noam shuts down, she will be the person he feels comfortable sharing with. We included Noam in the conversation, and I shared my thoughts with him. I asked him to make an effort to share more with the teacher because, in moments of difficulty when he shuts down, she can’t help him. They agreed that he would make an effort, and if he needed to, the teacher would find time to talk to him alone and understand where the difficulty lies. When the teacher and I were alone, I urged her to update me live on unusual situations because there’s no point in addressing a situation "after the fact"…

A few months ago, I attended a lecture by Ms. Melli Danino, CEO of the Nitzan Association. If there’s one thing I took from that lecture, it’s the concept of advocacy!!—and I’ll elaborate on that in the next post…

Kisses,

Ilana