Every child is a world unto themselves.

In the past, we were asked who we give more attention to… Not an easy question to ask parents of three…

When you think about it, it automatically gives you a knot in your stomach and nausea (at least for me…).

But they asked…

This week, I came across the book "A Special Brother" written by Racheli Baratz-Rix, which tells the story of the needs and feelings of Gili, a 5-year-old girl who has a special brother.

So, it seems that in Gili’s case, it’s pretty clear what’s happening… There’s one special brother who demands a lot of attention… who even requires her, at a young age, to take care of him, play with him, give in, and be more mature.

When there’s one special child in the family, it’s clear… everyone revolves around them, and most of the attention and effort is focused on them.

As mentioned, in our home, there are three…

Two diagnosed with ADHD, one of whom struggles with anger management and tantrums, years of speech therapy (severe retrieval issues), occupational therapy, and emotional therapy to cope with anger. And the third, the youngest, is only 5 years old, and from a young age, it’s already clear that ADHD is ingrained in him… He’s been attending a speech-focused kindergarten for the second year now.

So, who do we give more attention to, you ask?! To whoever needs it at that given moment.

Call it firefighting… That’s true only in cases of serious crises. On a daily basis, we handle and deal with everyone. Each according to their needs. If you think about it, it’s not very different from any family with regular children. Each child has their own personality, and according to their personality and age, their needs vary.

It’s just that in our case, there are a lot more needs…

So, we are constantly navigating. We invest most of our energy in finding solutions, coping on both a micro and macro level.

We learn organizational methods and juggle between three amazing kids who need someone to navigate for them through the raindrops that life showers upon them…

Every child is a world unto themselves… A world of joy, sadness, struggle, emotion, personality, and great love.

And don’t ask me who I love more…

My heart is divided equally among all of them.

(A friend once told me that ADHD isn’t special… So, from my perspective, the very fact that it’s not ordinary… that the challenges are different… that in the education system, they are different and need a different approach. That at home, the management and coping are different… It is definitely special. And different. And as parents, we "work at it" so that our child feels normal… achieves like their peers despite the challenges and despite their uniqueness. And I don’t compare it to any other type of uniqueness. This is the uniqueness of my children, which I deal with, and it’s not similar to any other type of uniqueness…)

With great love, from a mother of three,

Ilana

Here we live happily with ADHD.